Going Topless

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know—this is a family market, but that’s always been the running joke since forever and last week was no exception.  I knew there would be few tents up as the Montgomery County Emergency Services issued a High Winds Warning  set to arrive in the middle of the market hours. Dropping tents in sustained winds around customers always makes me extremely nervous so I will always err on the side of caution. Public Service Announcement—if you ever encounter vendors collapsing a tent in a high wind situation, please stand back and do not attempt to help. We know how our tents fold up and where the pinch points are.  The metallic scissor joints on a tent frame, especially a heavier one, will break your fingers.

High gusts were already coming in from the north and I pitied anyone driving a large box truck on the highway. In a way, the winds made the drive easier as most of the obnoxious 18-wheelers had parked, every rest stop between the farm and Bethesda overflowing with big rigs.

Vendors with the largest footprint roll in first each week, their large tents being the heaviest at the market. I know when they go topless, serious wind gusts are expected. Consider it a sign and follow accordingly.  There are public health codes about sheltering prepared foods in the open from potential bird droppings, but I think someone would notice if a pigeon plopped on a pastry or in the pickles. It’s well worth the risk of something that might happen versus something that is definitely going to happen.

There have only been a few times over the years I’ve witnessed unweighted market tents cartwheeling across the parking lot to both vendors’ and patrons’ dismay. Fortunately, that wasn’t at any of the Central Farm Markets thanks to the market management that takes safety seriously. A well-weighted tent will fold out like an umbrella in the wind, the joints flexing in the opposite direction rendering the unit useless. Other common wind-related breakdowns include torn fabric. Some vendors will erect their frames minus the fabric to display the farm’s banner, but in high wind events that’s tantamount to a kite.

You can always tell the most experienced vendors by the amount of weight they put on their tents when it comes to windy days. Most market tent companies offer canvas sandbag tent weights, but I much prefer checking out all the innovative solutions vendors cobble together. There’s the usual no-longer-used gym weights. Kettlebells are perfect. Homemade options can be as simple as a bucket of sand or concrete. Some hit up the PVC isle at Lowes for a more streamlined form, extra points for adding an end cap with an eye-bolt.  In the early days of farmers markets, one gallon jugs of water were normal, but today most markets require a minimum of twenty pounds per tent leg. A large cinder block will net 40 pounds, but they take up a lot of cargo space.

Without tents and banners, customers walk around looking for where their usual vendors are despite our physical locations being the same. At least a dozen people tried to order mozzarella and yogurt from me last week. I guess once the tents come off, we all look the same. At other times, shedding the top gets one noticed. I’ve been in my same spot well over ten years but take down the tent and I’ll get asked if I’m a new vendor more than once in the same day.

Winter market is coming which means on the nice sunny days those of us who can, will be sunbathing without our tops in an effort to keep warm. You’d be amazed at how much more comfortable it is with nothing between you and the sun, as long as the wind doesn’t blow.

But the absolute worst is when high winds come with precipitation. A few years ago we all stood in a squall tentless as it snowed horizontally. Nearly an hour before the end of the market we mutinied, broke down, packed up, and went home. Vendors with pre-paid orders were kind enough to hang out in their vehicles until latecomers showed up to collect their goods.

Remember,  there is no Bethesda market the Sunday following Thanksgiving . Forget topless, the parking lot will be completely bare.